2020. What a year for all of us. As I sit here each night and reflect upon what seems to be somehow the longest yet the fastest year so far, I can’t help but think about all that has happened around the world, in our country, and even in my own life. I think about the losses that so many have had to grieve due to COVID 19 and the grief that I’ve been through in losing some of the most loved people I knew, though none of them lost their lives to COVID 19. I think about the losses that the country felt and how they impacted change for the better. I think about Kobe Bryant and RGB. I think about George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. I think about our police officers and how many of them just try to truly protect and serve us.

Trying to process this year has been hard. Though through all the loss, I have hope. I see the progress that our country has made and certain wins show us that we are finally headed in the right direction. Our country is coming together to fight for change and while we are still so very far away from where we should be in 2020, we are at least moving forward.

I think about my family. I think about myself. I think about how at the beginning of this year I was going through one of the hardest mental breaks of my life, though many didn’t know. I think about how this virus shaped 2020 and I appreciate that it’s given me time to truly become one with my thoughts and really take a deep look inside. I think about how Keenan and I have had a chance to become closer and really spend some amazing quality time with each other. That’s when I start to feel grateful and fortunate, and then I start to feel terribly guilty that I’ve been so lucky this year while so many people around me aren’t as fortunate.

I think about the holidays. I think about how different they are this year and how filled with fear I have been of spreading a potentially deadly virus rather than the magic that usually fills me so full of love and happiness. I think about how thankful I am that members of my community still put up lights and Christmas decorations to bring some sense of joy and normalcy to this otherwise chaotic year. My heart gets warm and fuzzy with each holiday card I receive in the mail from my loved ones. I’m so grateful for the little things that I normally don’t stop and think twice about. On one hand I’m scared to death of passing on this virus to my family, and on the other hand I’m just so glad I’m fortunate to be able to spend the holidays with them all. The struggle is real.

I could complain about how much this year sucked, but what good would it do? It won’t solve anything and it certainly won’t make me feel better. So instead I choose joy.

Like many of you, I want so badly to say that 2021 will be better, but I also know that come January 1st, 2021 all the pain and issues we are dealing with today aren’t going to magically disappear. So as we all fight our own battles and adjust our expectations of what we thought life would look like in 2020 or 2021, I urge you all to take a moment and be truly grateful. Think of all that you have rather than what this year has taken from you. Think of the good that 2020 has brought you; maybe that’s more time to read your favorite books, listen to your favorite songs, spend time with treasured loved ones, or maybe focus on other goals. Let’s be thankful for what we’ve been given and try to focus on the happiness that 2020 brought us, rather than the sheer misery that accompanied it.

Let’s hug our loved ones a little tighter each time we see them. Let’s call our bestfriends at the most random times just to hear their sweet voices telling us that they love us too. Let’s throw frisbees outside with the kids next door just because we can. Let’s express gratitude that we are healthy and choose joy over despair.

Until next time, let your light shine bright.
Happy holidays, friends.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American readers. Before I head off to spend some time with my family, I wanted to take a few minutes to just reflect on a few the things I’m thankful for this year.

I’m thankful for another year with my best friend, Jenilee.
Many of you know that she’s been fighting hard to live with 2 nasty brain tumors. Every message, every phone call, and every visit I get is truly something to be thankful for. She’s been my closest friend for half of my life and I’m so glad she’s around to keep listening to my crazy life stories. I’m also very thankful for her husband, Kenn. He has been the best soul anyone could hope for in a situation like this. 2 beautiful souls that I love dearly and I can’t imagine life without. Jen isn’t just a friend, she’s my sister. She’s family.

Here we are after moving into our first apartment together back in 2005!
What a journey this has been.

I’m thankful for my Grandmom.
Grandmom Grace will be 89 years old next month. I call her each morning on my way to work and we talk about all kinds of things. Some of my favorite topics are remembering my memories as a child and listening to her memories growing up in a very different world. I enjoy hearing about how her card games go or who was wearing what to church on Sunday morning. She also gives me the traffic report on the regular. I know there will come a day where I’ll have to drive to work without talking to her, but for now, I’m so thankful that we can talk about anything we want to.

I’m thankful for my husband.
This year he was able to lose over 100 pounds. He’s focusing on losing weight and getting healthier. We’ve been working on our communication and I feel like our relationship has grown so much. I’m so proud of him. I just asked him what he’s thankful for this year and his response was, “A job. Even though it’s boring, it’s a job.”
Touché, honey.

I thankful for my friends and family, without their amazing generosity and kind actions and words, my life would be much less fulfilling than it is. There are some people who just go out of their way to make me feel loved and to them, I’m forever grateful. I love these sweet souls so much. Each day spent with them is a great day.

I’m thankful for my job and the amazing people I work with.

I’m thankful for music. Everything about music makes me happy.

But most importantly, I’m thankful for having the chance to gain my health back. I realize that a year ago, I was well on my way to an early grave. I was being selfish by killing myself with food. I was hiding myself from people I care about and I had become a complete hermit who hated to leave my house. I was so close to death, that many days, that’s all I thought about. It’s crazy what a year of change can do for one’s health, body, and mind.

I’m thankful for so much. This list would be so long if I kept going, but I have to go get ready to spend the day with a small part of my huge family. I’m most excited about Grandmom’s punkin pie! *drool*

Stay tuned for another FAQ – I’m going to answer your questions about weight loss surgery. You guys have been sending me lots of questions! Keep em coming!!

Eat lots, stay safe, and nap hard!