Anniversaries make me sappy.

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Eleven years of marriage.
Sixteen years of loving him.

Sometimes I sit in the quiet of our home, usually after bedtime when the world finally slows, and I try to wrap my mind around that number. Sixteen years. A whole lifetime of memories, of growth, of becoming who we are together.

We started with so little. Just two people figuring out life side by side in our very first apartment. Back then, love looked like late night conversations, shared dreams, and the kind of laughter that only comes when everything is still new and full of possibility.

And the beach is where it all took root.

There is something about the ocean that feels like us. Wild and steady at the same time. That is where our story really began, sun on our skin, salt in the air, falling into something deeper than we even understood yet. I still remember that cruise to Honduras, Costa Maya, and Belize, the moment it all shifted for me. Somewhere between the waves and the quiet moments together, I realized I was not just in love.

I was home.

Since then, we have built a life piece by piece. Two homes after that first apartment. A new chapter here in Austin, where everything feels a little lighter and a little friendlier, like we landed exactly where we were meant to be.

But if I am honest, the most defining part of our story was not where we lived.

It was what we waited for.

Twelve long, quiet years.

Years that tested us in ways no one really sees from the outside. Years filled with hope, heartbreak, patience, and an unshakable commitment to each other. There were moments it felt impossibly heavy, but we never let go. Not of each other. Not of the life we believed we were meant to have.

And then, her.
Our daughter.

Three and a half years ago, everything changed in the most beautiful way. The silence we carried for so long was replaced with laughter, tiny footsteps, and the sweetest little voice calling us Momma and Daddy.

Watching him become a father has been my favorite chapter of ours.

The way he loves her. The way she looks at him. The patience, the playfulness, the quiet strength you bring into our family. It is everything I ever dreamed of and more. There is something so sacred about seeing the person you have loved for over a decade step into a role that feels like it was always meant for them.

We did not just build a life.
We built this life.

One filled with resilience. With deep roots. With a kind of love that has been tested and proven again and again. A love that grew up, weathered storms, waited through silence, and still chose each other every single time.

Eleven years married.
Sixteen years together.

And somehow, it still feels like we are just getting started.

I would choose him in every lifetime.
Always.

-Meig

The Weight of Enough

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There’s a quiet tug of war that lives in my chest every single day.

When I sit on the floor and play with her, really play, the kind where I let the dishes pile up and the laundry stay unfolded, I feel it creeping in. You should be cleaning. You’re falling behind.

And when I finally stand up, push through the exhaustion, and start picking up the house, there it is again. You should be with her. These moments are slipping away.

It feels like no matter where I stand, I am standing in the wrong place.

Did I make her smile enough today?
Did I give enough hugs, enough kisses?
Did she feel how deeply, wildly, endlessly loved she is?
Did I do enough?

Mom guilt does not whisper. It hums. Constant and relentless. Especially when your body already feels like it is fighting its own quiet battle every single day.

Because chronic illness does not clock out.
There is no off switch.
No pause button.

Every ounce of energy becomes a decision.

Do I spend it on the dishes or on her laughter?

Do I push through the fatigue to be present or do I rest so I can make it through bedtime?

And somehow, no matter what I choose, it feels like I am failing something.

Tonight I sat on her floor, pulling her pajamas over tired little legs, soaking in her bedtime cuddles. My body felt heavy, completely emptied of everything I had to give.

And still the thoughts came.

Why did I get so frustrated today?
Why will she not just poop in the potty already?
Why did I lose my patience over something so small?

It is in those quiet, end of the day moments that the guilt hits the hardest.

Because I want to be everything for her.
The patient mom. The fun mom. The calm mom. The always present, never tired, endlessly gentle mom.

But I am not.

I am human.
I am tired.
I am doing this while carrying more than most people can see.

And as I sat there, stuck on the floor for just a moment longer than I wanted, because getting up felt like climbing a mountain, I looked at her.

And she looked at me like I was her whole world.

Not a cleaner house.
Not a perfectly patient mom.
Not someone who got everything right.

Just me.

Her momma.

And in that moment, I was reminded of something I so easily forget.

I am not the perfect mom.
But I am her mom.

The one she runs to.
The one she laughs with.
The one she wants at the end of the day.

Even on the days I feel stretched too thin,
even on the days I lose patience,
even on the days I question everything,

I am still exactly who she needs.

And maybe, just maybe,
that is enough.

Love y’all. Go hug your babies. You’re enough. I promise.

-Meig

Three Is Magic

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No one told me three would be this beautiful.

Everyone warned me about three.

They said it with knowing looks and little half laughs.

“Oh just wait until she’s three.”
“Three is when the attitude starts.”
“Threenagers are something else.”

What nobody told me is that three is perfection.

Three is a tiny voice yelling from the other room, “I WILL DO IT MYSELF!” while struggling to pull on shoes that are definitely on the wrong feet.

Three is spinning in the living room saying, “Check out my moves, Momma!” and dancing like the whole world is watching.

Three is independence blooming right in front of my eyes. It’s tiny hands that don’t need mine quite as much anymore, but still reach for me when she’s tired.

Three is Gabby’s Dollhouse on repeat. Again. And again. And again.

Three is dance parties at 10 pm when bedtime should have happened an hour ago.
It’s music playing too loud, twirls across the living room floor, and one more song before we even think about pajamas.

Three is the moment the chaos finally slows down and she crawls into my arms for sleepy cuddles before bed. The kind where her whole little body melts into mine and I remember she’s still my baby, even while she’s becoming her own little person.

Three is hug attacks.
The kind where she runs at me full speed just to wrap her arms around my legs.

Three is messy and loud and exhausting and absolutely magical.

Everyone warned me that three would be hard.

What nobody told me is that three would also break my heart a little.

Because every “I do it myself” is a reminder that she needs me just a tiny bit less than she did yesterday.

And while I’m unbelievably proud of the strong, confident little girl she’s becoming, there’s a quiet part of me that wishes I could freeze time right here.

Right here in the middle of dance parties and hug attacks.
Right here between independence and sleepy cuddles.

Because three is everything being a girl mom was promised it would be.

And I’m trying so hard to soak up every second of it.

Because motherhood is this strange, beautiful thing where your heart grows bigger every day, even while you’re grieving the versions of your child that quietly disappear along the way.

Yesterday she was a baby.

Today she’s three.

And somehow both of those things exist in my arms at the very same time.

And tonight, when I tuck her in and she whispers “I love you, Momma,” I know someday I will look back and realize…

three was never something to survive.

Three was something to treasure.

And I’m treasuring it. Truly.

Go hug your babies and water your plants. Maybe take your vitamin too.

Meig

Hope Is a Powerful Thing

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If you had asked me a year ago how I was doing, I probably would have smiled and said I was fine.

Most moms do.

We’re good at it.
At smiling.
At showing up.
At packing snacks, wiping tears, making dinner, remembering appointments, loving our babies with every ounce of our being… while quietly carrying things inside our own minds that nobody else can see.

The truth is, for a long time I haven’t felt fine.

Not in a dramatic, falling apart kind of way.
In the quieter way that’s harder to explain.

The kind where your brain never really shuts off.
Where you wake up already tired.
Where small things feel overwhelming and your mind feels like it’s constantly running in ten different directions at once.

I kept telling myself I could just push through it. That this is just what motherhood feels like sometimes. That being busy and being overwhelmed are basically part of the job description.

But eventually I had to be honest with myself.

White knuckling your way through life isn’t the same thing as living it.

So I did something that honestly took me a long time to do.

I started seeing a psychiatrist.

Even writing that out feels vulnerable. There’s still this strange stigma around mental health that makes it feel like admitting something is wrong with you. Like if you were just stronger, prayed harder, or more organized or more disciplined, you wouldn’t need help.

But our brains are organs. Just like our hearts and lungs and knees.

And sometimes they need help too.

After talking through everything, we decided to start a treatment plan and see if we can help my brain work the way it’s supposed to. It’s a process, and we’re still figuring out what works best. This isn’t my 1st rodeo with antidepressants or antianxiety medication, but I knew going on that shed throw some scary stuff at me.

Starting this step was scary.

What if nothing changes?
What if I still feel the same way?
What if I’ve been trying so hard for so long and this still doesn’t fix it?

But there’s another thought that keeps showing up, and it’s stronger than the fear.

Hope.

I have hope that things can get better.
Hope that the constant mental noise might quiet down.
Hope that I might wake up feeling rested instead of already behind.
Hope that I might feel like myself again.

Because if I’m being honest, I’m tired of feeling broken.

I’m tired of wondering why my brain sometimes works against me instead of with me. I’m tired of pretending everything is fine when inside it feels like I’m just trying to hold everything together.

I look at my child and I want to be the best version of myself for her. Not a perfect mom, but a present one. One whose mind isn’t constantly fighting itself.

And I know I’m not the only one walking around feeling this way.

So if you’re reading this and you’ve been struggling quietly too, let me say something I wish more people said out loud.

Getting help is not weakness.

It’s one of the bravest things you can do.

Taking care of your mental health doesn’t make you a bad mom, a bad partner, or a failure. It makes you someone who cares enough about your life and your family to fight for yourself.

I don’t know exactly what this journey will look like yet. Healing isn’t instant and it isn’t perfect. There will probably still be hard days.

But for the first time in a long time, I feel something I’ve been missing.

Hope.

And sometimes hope is the very first piece of healing.

Because the truth is this:

Sometimes the bravest thing a mother can do isn’t holding everything together for everyone else.

Sometimes the bravest thing she can do is finally admit she deserves to feel whole too.

Go hug your babies. Go hug your partners. Go hug a tree. Make a therapy appointment.

XOXOXO – Meig