It’s just a trip to Costco…

Oh Monday…

As most of you know, this weekend was uber hard for my family and I. We celebrated the life of my sweet Nonnie on Saturday. It was a fun day all in all, we shared memories and enjoyed each other’s company. It was great to see everyone, but damn was it hard. I hate that it takes someone dying to bring everyone together like that, but it is what it is.

I got hardly any sleep last night since I was sleeping the whole day. When my alarm went off this morning, I’m fairly certain I could have killed a leprechaun. I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed and get myself dressed. I got to work and tried to adult. Promptly at 5:15 (Yes. I WAS watching the clock.) I left and headed to Costco to get shrimp for my husband. Oh Costco, how I love you. NOT. Parked, grabbed a shopping cart, showed my card at the door and walked in. I got 3 items before it happened. I broke out into an instant sweat, my vision went blurry and I could no longer breathe. Sugar free popsicles, Meighan. Get the sugar free popsicles. Boom. It happened. My heart rate reached over 200 beats per minute and I passed out in the middle of the frozen food isle. Awesome. I had people bringing me water and patting my face with cold wet towels. HOW EMBARRASSING. Once I got my heart rate back down to 130ish, I decided to finish getting the last few items on my list. As I was picking up the trash bags to place them in the cart, I could feel myself doing it again. I happened to look at my heart rate and yep, you guessed it – 198 beats per minute. I sat down against the wall and so many people were passing me by just staring at me.

THIS IS WHAT HEART DISEASE IS!! A simple trip to Costco turned into this. I finally made my way back to the car. At that point I had to sit in the AC and chug about a gallon of water before I could even unload my cart into my car and leave. Guys – Take care of your heart. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. We won’t talk about what happened once I got home, but I’m safe now and I’m resting comfortably with my heart rate at a steady 120. I’m hoping once I lay in bed for a while, I’ll make it to somewhere in the 80’s. We shall see! Today has been complete shit. I’m going to bed.

Good night lovely people.

“I know.”

Catharsis – It’s something that I do. I do it daily. It helps me process the pathetic mess of my life. It helps me process pain and loss. It helps me process love and friendships. It helps me to release all my emotions without being violent or destructive. Sometimes I draw, other times I play my instruments or compose songs, but mostly I write. Everyone knows I write and everyone knows it’s very rare that I share my most personal, intimate thoughts with the general public because there’s something unnerving about letting other people inside my head.

Yesterday was my Nonnie’s “Celebration of life.” (Memorial service) I read a poem that I wrote and lots of people asked for a copy of it, so here it is. Enjoy.

I know.

By Meighan Knight

“Nonnie, I’m so tired.”

“Rest my girl, but do not quit.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, I feel weak.”

“Hush, my girl. You are so strong.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, I’m hurt.”

“Cry, my girl. Time heals all wounds.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, I feel like I’m going to break.”

“Bend, my child. There’s no need to break.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, I miss him so much.”

“Tell his story, my child. Remember he is free.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, I’m happy!”

“Wonderful, my child. These days come and go.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, you look tired.”

“I need to rest, my child, but I will not quit.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, you seem weak.”

“Hush, my girl. I’m fine. I’m strong.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie! You’re hurt!”

“I cried my girl, time will heal these wounds.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, you’re so sad.”

“I cannot live my life, my child, but you’ve made me so happy.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, you’re breaking.”

“My mind is breaking. My body is breaking. I am not breaking, my child.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll be free. Just remember those words.”

“I know.”

“Nonnie, you’re happy!”

“Remember me, my child. Forever and for all eternity. I’m finally free.”

“I know.”

In memory of my dear Nonnie who was the greatest grandmother a girl could have. May she fly high and sprinkle happiness on us all.

November 17th, 2017


Well hello, beautiful people! Boy, do I have some AWESOME news to share with you guys. This is something that very few people know, however, with his permission I am FINALLY allowed to make this public knowledge.

My husband, Keenan, will be having the gastric sleeve surgery along with me. This is such exciting news. The decision I made to have weight loss surgery is most definitely going to change my life, however, I’m the most excited about having a partner by my side through each of the steps that I have to go through. Not only will I not be alone in this adventure, but I’ll have my sidekick who FIRST HAND understands because he’ll be in the exact same boat as me!

We have both done the first 2 steps of the process and are currently waiting to see what’s next. I can’t wait to ride rollercoasters with him and go back to watching Ranger’s games all the time. Perhaps we can go hiking in Hawaii together or actually enjoy traveling to new places because we can fit in the airplane seats! I have high hopes that this will drastically change the future of our marriage. You guys, when I tell you that I’m beyond excited – I don’t think you all can possibly understand how much I truly mean this. Having this weight loss surgery is going to give me my life back. It’s going to be a whole new world for the both of us.

Not only will my husband and I be able to go on more adventures, but I’m hoping to make a lot more memories with other family and friends as well. I miss walking around the park and feeding the ducks on hot summer days. I miss playing “airplane” with my niece and nephews. I miss strapping on my rollerblades and getting lost in nature for just a little while. I miss being able to play fetch with all the puppies and chasing them around the yard. I miss going shopping with my girlfriends in all the small town boutiques that only carry S, M, & L. Gosh, there is so much that I miss.

I really want to write a post that explains what the surgery will involve and what is to be expected after the surgery day, I just haven’t had a lot of extra time as of late. Perhaps this week I can make some extra time to spit that one out for y’all. For now, I’m just going to leave you guys with just a few benefits of having this surgery that Keenan and I will be having very soon. It’s all just so so so exciting!

Tomorrow is sneaking up fast and I just realized I have no clean pants. FML y’all.
Good night.

Just to be clear…

So apparently a lot of people didn’t read yesterday’s post in its entirety and jumped to conclusions. It seemed to be a shocker when I was at work after having “Such a huge surgery…”

Guys, I did not have surgery yesterday. I had a simple endoscopy.

A few of you asked me what exactly what this procedure is so I’m going to clear it up a bit with this post.

An upper endoscopy, also known as EGD, is a procedure in which a thin scope with a light and camera at its tip is used to look inside the upper digestive tract – the esophagus, stomach, and first part of the small intestine, called the duodenum.

Usually performed as an outpatient procedure, upper endoscopy sometimes must be performed in the hospital or emergency room to both identify and treat conditions such as upper digestive system bleeding.

The procedure is commonly used to help identify the causes of:

• Abdominal or chest pain
• Heartburn
• Bleeding
• Swallowing problems

An upper endoscopy is more accurate than X-rays for detecting abnormal growths and for examining the inside of the upper digestive system.

To read the original article on, click here!

Created for the National Cancer Institute,

I still have a bit of a sore throat, which is completely normal. All is well for now! Once I have more information about when the next step is, I will share it here.

I have lots to do before bed tonight, so I must go for now.
Bonne Nuit, Y’all!