hip-dysplasia

3 Days Before Surgery

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Packing for Dallas at Midnight: A Moment of Clarity in the Chaos

It’s midnight, and I’m still packing for Dallas. I started around 9 PM, and I’ve managed to get one suitcase packed—though even that feels incomplete.

I can’t help but wonder: why am I moving so slowly? Why can’t I focus on this simple task?

The answer seems to lie in the clash between my racing thoughts and my sluggish body. The louder my brain gets, the slower my hands move. It’s as though the more anxious I feel, the less capable I am of doing anything at all. I glance at the baby monitor. There she is—my sweet girl, sound asleep in her crib, as peaceful as she can be. It’s a stark contrast to the chaos swirling in my mind.

Intrusive thoughts keep flooding in. I wish there were a mute button for my brain, just something to stop the noise for a few minutes so I can breathe.

What makes it worse, though, is when people ask me how I’m doing. How do you answer when you feel like you’re barely keeping it together? I’m not eating much. I’m staying up late because my brain is too loud to sleep. When I do sleep, it’s fitful and haunted by nightmares that leave me waking up in a sweaty panic. I’m terrified of the future, of what’s to come. I can’t think straight, I can’t focus, and the simplest tasks feel impossible—like packing a bag.

Packing, in particular, feels like a painful reminder that this isn’t just some nightmare. This is real. It’s been real ever since our daughter’s diagnosis, the day we saw the pediatric orthopedic surgeon for the first time. But I’ve been able to push it to the back of my mind, to pretend for a while that it isn’t happening. It’s easier that way. I’ve been dissociating, going through the motions of day-to-day life, trying to enjoy the small moments. We took her to the zoo for the first time, and I allowed myself to believe everything was okay, if only for a few hours.

But now, with every item I fold and tuck into the suitcase, it hits me all over again. This is happening. And I don’t know how to make sense of it all.

I guess, for now, I’ll go finish packing. But I don’t think I’ll be able to ignore it much longer.

What is Hip Dysplasia?

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Upon hearing about our daughter’s diagnosis, many of you have asked, “What is Hip Dysplasia?” So, let’s talk about it.

What is Hip Dysplasia?

Hip dysplasia is a condition where the hip joint doesn’t develop properly, meaning the ball of the thigh bone (femur) doesn’t fit securely into the socket of the hip bone. It’s like a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit quite right. This can cause the joint to be loose or unstable, which may lead to pain, difficulty moving, and in some cases, arthritis later in life.

In infants and toddlers, hip dysplasia is often detected during routine check-ups. If left untreated, it can cause problems with walking and lead to joint damage as it grows. Early treatment is important, and in some cases, babies and young children may need multiple surgeries to help correct the issue. After surgery, they may need to wear a spica cast—a full-body cast that helps keep the hip joint in place while it heals. This can be challenging for both children and parents, but it is an important part of the treatment process.

While hip dysplasia is commonly seen in babies and young children, it can also develop in adults, sometimes with no symptoms until later in life. For some people, the condition is mild and may cause few issues, while others may need ongoing treatment, including surgery, to manage it.

Early diagnosis and treatment can make a big difference in the long-term outcome, helping children grow up with less pain and fewer complications.