It’s just a trip to Costco…

Oh Monday. First of all, I’d like to start with a big, fat, major loud “FUCK YOU!” Normally Monday’s don’t bother me so much but today – well let me tell you all about it.

As most of you know, this weekend was uber hard for my family and I. We celebrated the life of my sweet Nonnie on Saturday. It was a fun day all in all, we shared memories and enjoyed each other’s company. It was great to see everyone, but damn was it hard. I hate that it takes someone dying to bring everyone together like that. So with only 2 hours of sleep Friday and Saturday, you can bet your boots my fat ass stayed in bed or on the couch passed out most of the day on Sunday. If it didn’t involve ridding my body of waste or providing it with sustenance, I wasn’t going to move. (No. Not even a little.) Let’s add on the fact that my uterus was extremely pissed off that it didn’t have a fetus to nurture so my hormones were also insanely fucked up. Cramps… Backaches…. Headaches…. All of the things. (Sorry dudes, but I seriously doubt there are that many of you reading this anyway, and the ladies out there – Oh they know!) It was just better if I stayed asleep most of the day, better for me and better for the general public too!

Sooooo that brings us to today. I got hardly any sleep last night since I was sleeping the whole day. When my alarm went off this morning, I’m fairly certain I could have killed a leprechaun. I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed and get myself dressed. I got to work and tried to adult. Promptly at 5:15 (Yes. I WAS watching the clock.) I left and headed to Costco to get shrimp for my husband. Oh Costco, how I love you. NOT. Parked, grabbed a shopping cart, showed my card at the door and walked in. I got 3 items before it happened. I broke out into an instant sweat, my vision went blurry and I could no longer breathe. Sugar free popsicles, Meighan. Get the sugar free popsicles. Boom. It happened. My heart rate reached over 200 beats per minute and I passed out in the middle of the frozen food isle. Awesome. I had people bringing me water and patting my face with cold wet towels. HOW EMBARRASSING. Once I got my heart rate back down to 130ish, I decided to finish getting the last few items on my list. As I was picking up the trash bags to place them in the cart, I could feel myself doing it again. I happened to look at my heart rate and yep, you guessed it – 198 beats per minute. I sat down against the wall and so many people were passing me by just staring at me.

THIS IS WHAT HEART DISEASE IS!! A simple trip to Costco turned into this. I finally made my way back to the car. At that point I had to sit in the AC and chug about a gallon of water before I could even unload my cart into my car and leave. Guys – Take care of your heart. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. We won’t talk about what happened once I got home, but I’m safe now and I’m resting comfortably with my heart rate at a steady 120. I’m hoping once I lay in bed for a while, I’ll make it to somewhere in the 80’s. We shall see! Today has been complete shit. I’m going to bed.

Good night lovely people.
M.

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